This is my graduation project's visual essay. It is the foundation of my main work. This project was about the beauty ideal. I had researched this phenomenon thoroughly, and concluded that it had always been a battle within myself. A part of me wanted to scream "ALL BODIES ARE BEAUTIFUL!" and push the representation of more diverse bodies to an extreme, while another part of me just wanted to lose a lot of weight. Then there was also the Maker, who reacted visually on those claims and perspectives. In my essay you can read and see the discrepancy between these identities: the Feminist, the Existential Self and the Maker. My intention was to create tension among them, and let myself and everybody else know that it’s okay to be vulnerable and you don’t always have to live the ideals that you believe in.